I don’t know about you but my tinnitus has been much worse since lockdown, and it’s likely a result of the anxiety that has come with lockdown and a global pandemic. While I don’t think lockdown should be lifted just yet here in the UK, I am getting sick of it. I have to remind myself, that’s ok, I’m allowed to feel like this.
I’m one of those people that always think it could always be much worse and I should be grateful for what I have. While I am grateful that I do have a great support system, a roof over my head and that my loved ones are all ok, I am allowed to feel rubbish during lockdown, especially with a condition like tinnitus. Whatever you’re feeling during this time (tinnitus-related or not), it’s all relevant to you – don’t feel guilty about your feelings.
It’s been a bit of a rollercoaster for me, I’ve definitely experienced A LOT of bad days. And having bad days has meant my tinnitus has been worse, resulting in even more bad days. It’s a vicious cycle! When I say my tinnitus has been worse, I mean that it is my perception of my tinnitus that is worse. It is unlikely that the tinnitus itself has gotten worse, but even so, it’s still been pretty tough! I’m writing about it to address it, to really help me get out of this funk I’m currently in.
I’ve also been experiencing really bad blocked ears, and when that happens I’m pretty much out of action until it’s cleared up (which can sometimes take up to a week). I think it’s likely due to hay fever, which on the one hand I think it’s great that nature is restoring itself but on the other hand I’m suffering really bad. I think living with something like tinnitus comes with the added anxiety of constantly thinking about “is something I do going to make it permanently worse?”. When I get blocked ears I really struggle to be positive and it puts me in a foul mood. I get concerned that it will turn into an ear infection or that it will just get worse. I have accepted my tinnitus which is something I’ve mentioned in a previous post but I do still get concerned about it getting worse.
I know I’ve spoken about wanting to change the tinnitus narrative to a more positive one, which is the main reason I’m sharing my journey. I must say that I think hiding behind positivity isn’t always the best. I’d be the biggest hypocrite in the world to say that I don’t have bad days and that I’m not struggling at the moment. I want to highlight the highs and lows of living with tinnitus for us all to be able to move forward in a more positive way. We’re allowed to have bad days, particularly during the current situation! A global pandemic is obviously not going to be the most cheery and if you live with an underlying condition (whatever it may be) it’s going to be hard and it can be debilitating. I guess what I’m trying to say is, I’m sharing this all in the hope that it helps someone during this weird time. Remember you’re not alone!
If you really are struggling at the moment, here is a list of useful links to charities offering their support during the COVID-19 crisis:
I hope you’ve enjoyed this post. I wanted to be real with you about living with tinnitus, let me know how you’re doing during this time? Has your tinnitus gotten worse since lockdown? How are you managing your tinnitus during lockdown?
Thank you for reading.